Acceptance and Change

We talk a lot about acceptance AND change in DBT. In order for us to most successfully change long term, we must accept the reality of what we are struggling with.  When you think about those New Year's resolutions, be sure to balance out the changes you are striving for with a dose of acceptance.  Acceptance doesn't mean approval, or that we like the fact that we are overweight, broke or lonely.  It just means that we are able to see objectively what the issues are that we are wanting to change, without a bunch of shame and self hatred.  

I love the way Brene Brown talks about guilt and shame.   "I believe that guilt is adaptive and helpful – it’s holding something we’ve done or failed to do up against our values and feeling psychological discomfort. I define shame as the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging – something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection. I don’t believe shame is helpful or productive. In fact, I think shame is much more likely to be the source of destructive, hurtful behavior than the solution or cure."

We all feel both guilt and shame, and learning to differentiate between the two is crucial.  

If you, or someone you know, is looking for proven strategies and skills to FEEL BETTER, have better relationships, be able to cope in healthier ways, and to regulate strong emotions, I am accepting both individual and group clients now.