Regulating Emotions

One of the most frequent questions my clients ask me at the start of our work together is, "Am I ever going to figure out how to get a better handle on my negative emotions?" 

One of the first ways we get started on managing intense emotions is to use compassionate curiosity in understanding what we are feeling.  Gently investigating into what has come up, where we are feeling it and if possible, putting a name to what we are noticing. 

Once we have put an accurate label on what we are feeling, such as "I am noticing worry", it can help to start the process of what the next steps will be in either attempting to change the feeling, or change the way we are reacting to the feeling. 

I often have my clients spend time just practicing observing an emotion, like frustration or sadness, and to sit with it for a few minutes to notice what it is and where they feel it.  Typically, we often cut off emotions as soon as we can (by eating, drinking, distracting) OR we get stuck in our emotions, and they grow stronger as a result.  

There is much more to regulating emotions, but this is something that you can start using to get started.  I'll write about many more techniques you can use in my future blog posts!  Or if you want more immediate help on this, email or call me, and we can start working together on improving the way you manage your intense emotions.